she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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