I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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