Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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