did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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