Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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