thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
