And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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