At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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