as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
