I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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