youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
