Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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