Sry I called you an 8
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
