a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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