I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize