I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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