well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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