you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
