I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
