Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
