Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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