They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
