I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize