I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
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