when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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