We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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