Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize