Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Randomize
