"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
