Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
