We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
