yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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