I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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