"it" just moved
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
