Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
