This girl is more easily done than said...
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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