I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
