worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize