pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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