cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
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