we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
