found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
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