yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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