he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
