Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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