Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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