Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
