I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
