so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
