omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
the day after is always just damage control
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
