i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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