Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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