i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Dick very happy bro
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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