yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
