Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
