Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
How does one acquire holy water?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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