you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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