I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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