you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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