You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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