I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
