Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
