He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
